Saturday, October 29, 2011

Day 29: Am I doing enough?

Hello Saturday morning! This means hello to a full day of uninterrupted Harper time. Daddy is gone today taking a class (long story) so it's just us girls. Wearing pajamas until we can't anymore, working from home (ok from my bed), blogging, maybe cleaning, and  a lot of thinking.

I've come across so many great blogs from this 31 for 21 experience that sometimes I feel overwhelmed. These (mostly) mothers are all trying to make a difference and I want to think I am trying to also. But am I doing enough? Am I raising enough awareness? In my defense, Harper is only 2 months old. I have her entire life to raise awareness. Do I know as much about Down syndrome as I should? No. Will I ever? Probably not. I don't think anyone does. Even the expert, Dr. Mobley, is always learning.

As each day passes I am learning and learning will always continue. It's a process. And I have always struggled with the process. I like to get to the end result fast. I am impatient. I loved being pregnant but hated that I had to wait to have my baby. I love to travel but hate the process of getting there. I love the holidays and to decorate but I want it NOW! Understand?! So, the fact that I don't have a niche yet in the Down syndrome world frustrates me. I want to be involved, to find my voice, to be Harper's advocate. How will I do this? Besides being her mom and being as up to date as possible, I'm not sure. I want to be successful in raising awareness but am still trying to figure out how.

On a lighter note...Harper had a great short week at school! She had a ton of visits from all the teachers and many parents. As one teacher put in on Wednesday "here comes the Harper parade!" She can't help it that she is super cute and the director's kid. Everyone  has to like her!

I've posted a lot of links lately due from plain exhaustion. And I apologize because I know that those are not the most popular posts. And I've promised Harper pictures so for your viewing they are!


Heidi Ehle said...

It all takes time. You're going to find your own way to advocate, your own voice so to speak. What works for another mom might not work for you. You'll find too that you don't necessarily agree with everything that other moms do or say to advocate. It's all about finding out what your own philosophies are and raising awareness in your own way.
It'll come. You've only had two months. :)

Holly. said...

Look what you've ALREADY accomplished!!

Shona said...

Hello, I ran across your blog from someone in the Ds community, but can't remember whom. :) I actually have a 2 month old little girl with Ds named Leighton. She is my world. I can relate to your feelings oh so well. I want to do so much more but have done less than you. I have a blog as well but find that spending time with Leighton is much more fun. ;) I look forward to hearing more from you and reading all about your baby girl.

Kristi said...

She is a doll...and yes it all takes time...when Avery was only two months old that was the last thing i was worried about..i was just enjoying my baby!!!:) Just enjoy her now and let it all come later..bc time flies way to fast..Avery is already 4 1/2 and i wish i could go back so badly!!!!!

Shannon said...

I was in your shoes not too long ago. The first year of Fiona's life, I wanted to do everything. Get involved in everything. Have my voice be heard. But I was still learning about Down syndrome, let alone Fiona. Around the year mark, when her health issues leveled off, and now things were coming up that it would be my second time being involed in like the Buddy Walk, I found it easier to know where I would help most. Start small, I sometimes forget to educate my own family and friends. I have watched the domino effect happen as my friends, tell friends, who tell friends and before I know it I am getting an email for someone 6 times removed who has been touched by Fiona and has made an effort to be more aware and more considerate to people with Down syndrome. You are an awesome advocate for Harper, because you already are speaking out. Be patient, my friend. You will soon see fruits of your labor :)