Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Slippery Slope

I know how lucky I am. Really I do. Some people do not agree or, better yet, understand. A daughter with Down syndrome and Open Heart Surgery at 4 months does not equal lucky. I disagree. If you have meet Harper you would also disagree. Her smile is contagious and her cuteness radiates. She isn't just Down syndrome or the baby who had Open Heart Surgery. I know how lucky I am. I have known since last January when I found out I was pregnant.

Pregnancy didn't come easy to us. Another story for another time. We have emotional battle scars but were fortunate that Harper survived. Yes we had our scares during pregnancy (hence the early delivery) but we didn't experience a loss of a pregnancy. I know that miscarriage is a fact of life. Like death, I don't understand why it happens to good people. Or why pregnancy occurs easily for those who are not trying and those who try and want desperately to be parents struggle. The struggle sucks but the reward is (or at least should be) life changing.

My thoughts are with you my dear friends. And know my shoulders are always available.

A child with Down syndrome is just that...a child and a human. An article came across a status update on Facebook and I hesitated to open it because I knew I would get worked up. And I bet my house that the majority of you will also.  Read the story here.

The circumstances, the authors state, where after-birth abortion should be considered acceptable include instances where the newborn would be putting the well-being of the family at risk, even if it had the potential for an “acceptable” life. The authors cite Downs Syndrome as an example, stating that while the quality of life of individuals with Downs is often reported as happy, “such children might be an unbearable burden on the family and on society as a whole, when the state economically provides for their care.”

First: After-birth abortion is MURDER.
Second: It's DOWN syndrome. Not DOWNS syndrome.
Third: The word Downs is unacceptable.
Fourth: Child with Ds are not an "unbearable burden." This thought of  an "after-birth" abortion is an unbearable burden for me.

Just look at this face

It should not be permissible to kill a child because it is not exactly what you had in mind. This is a slippery slope. I wanted a brunette baby with green eyes. I didn't get that. Should I have an after-birth abortion?

This is a topic that is completely ridiculous and sadden. Anyone who is considering abortion of a child with Ds or an after-birth abortion (even the phrase is ridiculous) can email me and we will set up a time for you to meet Harper and come visit the 90 children I have enrolled at school. I guarantee your heart will melt and you will live for your child.

Do you see now why I couldn't quote more of the article?! Thanks Faith for posting it. You are right....slippery slope indeed.

Saturday, February 18, 2012


Can you tell I'm back to work? More time elapses between blog posts. Once I get my mommy feet back under me I promise I'll be better at managing my time.

The first time I returned to work from maternity leave I was able to jump right back into the swing of things. This time around....I'm struggling. Struggling to work without thinking about Harper (who is right down the hall), struggling to hang out with Harper without thinking about work (damn obsessive mind). And struggling to fight the feeling that I'm constantly doggie-paddling through life. Dishes and laundry just waiting to be done. Shows that are DVR'd from 2 weeks ago are awaiting my return (sorry Glee I promise I haven't left you).

I know this is normal but honestly, I thought because I had bypassed this feeling the first time that the second time would be even easier. Buzzzz.....WRONG! 

Today I was able to stop to smell the roses. And new baby smell. Harper and I got to meet new baby Greta today. And boy is she cute.

Cue the picture of her cuteness. Oh wait, my balance was off and I forgot to take one. See? Proof I'm not quite myself right now.

You will have to take my word for it but she is adorable. She has the new baby smell, the new baby cry, and the new baby cuddles down pat. She made Harper look like a giant and we all know H is as teeny as a 5 1/2 month old gets! Thanks Mary George for letting us spend the day with you, Greta, B, and of course Joel!

While I am a bad friend and forgot to take a picture of a sweet newborn baby...I was able to snap a few of Harper being a big girl. Give this chick a few more days and she will be rolling over on her own. That damn should gets in the way!

Cousin Mia and H

Baby Gaga

Big girl 

Happy Valentines Day

Sleeping Beauty

Now I know that finding my balance is going to take awhile. I'm impatient. I always have been so waiting is not something I am necessarily good at. I need instant gratification and quite honestly I want to feel sane again.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

The Special Mother

I came across this story far too late. I would have loved to have read this after we had Harper's diagnosis but alas I read it about two weeks ago. Despite the timing, it is still amazing how true this story is and how emotional it makes me. 

I have always said that I knew Andy and I were chosen for a reason to be Harper's parents but I never knew what the reason was until I read this story. I also believe that mother can be substituted with father and/or parents. 

The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air. 

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."


Pretty awesome huh?! You know what else is awesome? Harper's newest pictures! I plan on writing a complete post about the fantastic organization that allowed these pictures. But for now...a quick preview!

I got into the action too!

Closest to a smile you are going to get