The first time I returned to work from maternity leave I was able to jump right back into the swing of things. This time around....I'm struggling. Struggling to work without thinking about Harper (who is right down the hall), struggling to hang out with Harper without thinking about work (damn obsessive mind). And struggling to fight the feeling that I'm constantly doggie-paddling through life. Dishes and laundry just waiting to be done. Shows that are DVR'd from 2 weeks ago are awaiting my return (sorry Glee I promise I haven't left you).
I know this is normal but honestly, I thought because I had bypassed this feeling the first time that the second time would be even easier. Buzzzz.....WRONG!
Today I was able to stop to smell the roses. And new baby smell. Harper and I got to meet new baby Greta today. And boy is she cute.
Cue the picture of her cuteness. Oh wait, my balance was off and I forgot to take one. See? Proof I'm not quite myself right now.
You will have to take my word for it but she is adorable. She has the new baby smell, the new baby cry, and the new baby cuddles down pat. She made Harper look like a giant and we all know H is as teeny as a 5 1/2 month old gets! Thanks Mary George for letting us spend the day with you, Greta, B, and of course Joel!
While I am a bad friend and forgot to take a picture of a sweet newborn baby...I was able to snap a few of Harper being a big girl. Give this chick a few more days and she will be rolling over on her own. That damn should gets in the way!
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| Cousin Mia and H |
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| Baby Gaga |
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| Big girl |
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| Happy Valentines Day |
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| Sleeping Beauty |
Now I know that finding my balance is going to take awhile. I'm impatient. I always have been so waiting is not something I am necessarily good at. I need instant gratification and quite honestly I want to feel sane again.
2 comments:
You aren't alone. It was surreal going back to school and I spent the entire last semester struggling! I never got enough sleep, it seemed like I worked my tail off and never got a darn thing done, and scheduling was an absolute nightmare.....I thought getting the hard classes out of the way would make this semester a cinch. Um wrong. 6 weeks in and I have 0 motivation to do ANYTHING, I spend 3 entire days a week IN class then spend the other 4 running around like a chicken with its head cut off. lol Tuesdays are a logistical nightmare!
My point (beside just random venting haha) is give yourself a break. :) Being a mommy is rough some days (some months....) but it will work out. I know you're a great mom and I'm positive that you'll get it together at some point in the near future (when you DO can you please hand out pointers??)
Hugs to that beautiful Miss Harper (and to her fabulous mama too!)
Yeah, I have been feeling like that for the past few months. I am just barely keeping my head above water. I feel like I spend all day working, cleaning, organizing and putting things away and nothing looks any different. I am starting to loosen expectations of myself and started giving myself a break on things and it is helping. There are still days I feel utterly overwhelmed but I am hopeful that will become more of a rarity.
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