Sunday, May 6, 2012

One Year Ago Today

One year ago, I woke up with excitement and anticipation of learning the gender of our baby. I knew it was a girl. I had, pretty much, forgotten that 8 weeks earlier my First Trimester Screen came back flagged for Down syndrome. The chance of a false positive was higher than our child actually having Down syndrome.

I remember exactly what I wore. It was going to be my lucky outfit. When I was home after the appointment, I remember thinking that the outfit was cursed instead of lucky. A few weeks later, I wore it again and made sure to say out loud, "this is a lucky outfit." 

I am not going to relive all the details of that day for you. But I will remind you that yes we were shocked and saddened but we quickly realized that Baby Girl Bohacek was just that....a baby girl. She needed us. We told our family that. That she was a baby who happened to have Down syndrome and a heart defect. And that we loved her.

Man, do we love her. 

May 6th, 2011 will forever be in my memory. It is the first of many anniversary's we will celebrate with Harper. Having a child with Down syndrome and a child who conquered Open Heart Surgery makes every day a celebration. I look back at this day with sadness for my sadness. I wish I knew how normal life would be. How amazing Harper is. How she can keep me up at night but when I see her smile in the morning I immediately forgive her. She definitely has made life interesting and changed it the second she was born. 

I look back at this day with gratitude. Gratitude for the wonderful medical professionals we were blessed with. Everyone we encountered that day was amazingly supportive. Laura, what would we have done without you? I hope you are reading this and know that we survived because of your kind words.

I look back at this day with love. Yes, I was sad and heartbroken. I was mourning the loss of a healthy child. But I now LOVE this day. I am able to pinpoint the exact day that I turned into a mother and Andy a father. We had to make difficult decisions for another person. Life altering decisions were made on May 6, 2011. This day turned us into parents. We chose to do an amnio for us but we chose not to abort...for Harper. 

I look back at this day with a huge smile on my face. Harper is the ketchup to my fries, the water to my ocean and is the smile to my face. I adore this little one. She radiates happiness. 

May 6th, 2011....Thank you.



Heidi Ehle said...

I have similar anniversaries which I celebrate.... and am so thankful for the gift that is my daughter. :) Praise God that sadness fades in the beautiful light of our kids' smiles!

Mama Bird said...

Beautiful. Love this post!